Working Moms: Give Yourself Grace

Let's get real.  Being a Mom and a Business Owner is BEYOND stressful and also BEYOND rewarding, but it can certainly take its toll.  Over here at Mini Mahjer Headquarters, we are still a two-gal team with five children between us ranging from thirteen to two!  We didn't plan to have an idea, run with it and get a business up and running during the busiest times of motherhood, but here we are.  Our goal:  run a successful business while giving ourselves grace and remembering what must always come first.

I would say, remembering what comes first is easier than giving yourself grace (at least that's how it is for us)!  Within our first month of starting up, I remember feeling extreme guilt over having to say that a child had a doctor appointment, a practice, a school performance, etc.  We were forgetting what was most important and that the benefit of co-owning a women's owned business is this:  We both understood and knew where we wanted/needed to be.  However, with only two owners, we perpetually felt guilty over attending a child's award ceremony and leaving only one to work those hours.  However, staying at work or making the meeting made us feel guilty of missing something important to our children.  I believe this must be an age-old dilemma for all who have faced it.  Very early on, we decided that a founding principle of our business would be, simply, "Family Comes First."  Have we failed at this?  Absolutely.  Do we still feel extreme guilt at times?  Absolutely.  Are we trying to follow our model?  Yes, we are.  When we absolutely cannot and have to choose business over family, we like to think of that as the exception.  We hope that with every exception, our children and husbands realize that our end goal is always with them in mind.  With any hope, they see our hard work and they are proud at what we have built (and maybe, just maybe understand why we have to miss a few things here and there although we always have them in mind).

Now....when it comes to giving ourselves grace, that paragraph above is probably the first time I've ever done it!  Women are so hard on themselves all of the time when in actuality, it is physically impossible to do everything and be everywhere every single day.  As a working mother, it is inevitable that you will miss things during the week.  Maybe you can't sign up for snacks that week, you miss a soccer practice, last minute you call-a-friend for carpool help...heaven forbid, you might even forget to pick up a child or forget their dress up day at school!  I guess this is that thing that people refer to as "balance."  For so many of us, this is impossible to find (unless we commit to no sleep).  Here is what I have discovered in this journey.  Every child will recover (pretty much immediately) from anything unfavorable that comes their way due to circumstance.  Mothers are quickly forgiven for their mistakes and those mistakes are quickly forgotten.  Likewise, I have found that everything I deem urgent and important in business is neither urgent nor important most of the time.  Pushing a meeting by one day, responding to a customer one day later, posting a day late...GIVING OURSELVES GRACE is so important to stay afloat (and sane).  As a society, we have gone from living day-to-day to living minute-to-minute (quite literally).  That is stressful for everyone involved.  I'm not saying to slow down because I don't think we live in a time where we can.  I am just saying, if something needs to take priority over something else (whether it be work or family), we must give ourselves grace about the decisions we make.

For all of you struggling to find the "balance", you are certainly not alone.  Maybe this is something that never goes away for us.  We are our worst critic.  It is hard.  Really, really hard!  For everyone out there hustling at work and at home, just know that you are doing a great job and your family sees it.  They see your work ethic, your effort and your love.  They have always been the end goal and they still are.  They know that and they are proud of you!

"The most effective way to do it, is to do it." - Amelia Earhart